Mediocre

So, tonight I'm feeling kind of stanky. I have just come off of a 3-day battle with some nasty stomach bug, meaning I've been out of school since Tuesday. Although one day off is nice, and I love spring break, it's weird to think of someone else in your classroom teaching your kids. I am headed into school tomorrow for Saturday school, and I am super worried about what I will find.

Anyway, between bouts of Phenagrin (sp?) induced comas, I have been reflecting a lot on life. Right now, I really feel mediocre.

Let me explain. I keep talking to other teachers who have the most amazing test scores, classrooms, or results. One of my dearest teaching friends just got nominated for this most outstanding educator award, and I am soo completely proud of her. Her classroom is amazing, and I have never seen kids love a teacher so much. This, of course, makes me look at my classroom. It is definitely not amazing. Some of my kids love me, but nothing like the way her kids treat her. In the past two years, I feel like I have gone from a complete success to someone who is very mediocre. I know God put me in this place, and I will be a stronger person because of it, but being crappy at something is a tough lesson.

Two other teachers I know just took their kids on the most amazing trips. One wrote and got all these grants to do a tour of LP Field (aka Titans stadium), and the other is taking her kids to lunch and a show "In the Heights" at TPAC. OMG--these teachers are amazing! Imagine having the go-get-ness to write grants and letters to get these amazing experiences for our little bees. What have I done to change my kids' lives? Have I organized trips they will never forget? Have I written grants to get them experiences they otherwise would never have? What is wrong with me? I used to be an overachiever. Now, I feel like I'm barely getting by.

Personally, I keep looking at blogs about new babies or weddings or I keep seeing fellow teachers heading off to prestigious law schools or other amazing opportunities. I'm thinking JEEZ LOUISE.

#1 I have not met my husband in Nashville nor am I preggo (although Target sent me the most precious catalog ab starting a baby registry yesterday???)

#2 I am planning on teaching next year, but I don't know where or to whom. And I am not doing any crazo fellowships to Turkey or Peace Corps missions to Kenya. Nor am I starting Law School at Harvard or work at Google.

#3 I work approx. 70 hours a week and don't have time to workout, meet lots of new friends, or even hang out with old ones.

#4 I feel behind.

Now, I have truly led a blessed life. However, I am having a little bit of a pity party today. Don't get me wrong--there are days when I feel like a complete success, but today is not one of them.

However, after writing this, I am going to commit to to try to finish my 4 days of March, 21 days of April, and 19.5 days of May with excellence. Even if I don't take my kids to a show or a tour, I am going to try to finish the best I possibly can. And I hope next year will be even better.

Happy Friday night! I am now ready to tackle those piles of papers that need to be graded since Tuesday.

No longer nauseous in Nashville,

Miss P

Spring Break!!

Can it really be that I've not updated my blog since January?!? Where did February and the first half of March go?

February flew by with more snow days, my birthday (woohoo in Nashville with roommates@OG/Bible study, Bowling Green with home friends and family for Superbowl Sunday, and Lexington for Greek Sing/birthday breakfast with more family). We celebrated two more b-days in Nashville with J turning 25 at the end of Feb. (PF Changs), and B turning 24 in March (Art Life). It was such a great month, and we also celebrated G's 87th birthday complete with the whole family and friends.

Beginnings of March flew by with a practice round of state testing. That finished last week, along with a field trip. Now, I am so thankful to be in sunny Florida. I have eaten seafood, been by the beach/pool, and read four books since Friday. It has been AMAZING!! I don't really want to ge ready to face reality: job applications, finishing grad school in June, and wrapping up my 4th and final quarter with my bees. I kind of just want to pretend I have nothing going on and stay in denial. When I start thinking about what next year looks like, I don't have any idea. I am just trying to pray and relax and give it to God.

Will it be kindergarten in Kentucky? Teaching second graders in Tennessee? Not sure, but I do think it's right to be in Nashville at least one more year. Mom and the fam want me back in Ky. We will see.

Hope you are having a wonderful week! Mmmmmm...sunset on the ocean.

Cheers,
Miss P